The Blinking Blue Schoolmarm

Eat your peas! Raise your kids right! Why is my TV trying to run my life?

Of all the culinary pairings devised by man--tomatoes with basil, foie gras with truffles, french fries with ketchup--is there any more perfect than TV with junk food? The Super Bowl and chili! Cartoons and Froot Loops! The Survivor finale and a pitcher of mojitos! Like hot dogs at the ballpark, those sugary, fatty, liver- and heart-hostile delights simply taste better bathed in a glow of blue light. TV is not just a medium. It is a seasoning, a condiment, a secret sauce.

The network TLC, however, is out to bust up that long and happy marriage. On each episode of Honey...

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