Punchlines: Mar. 6, 2006

"There was the big scandal at the Olympics. Authorities raided the Austrian team headquarters, found hundreds of syringes and drugs. They said there's enough stuff there to support a major league baseball team." --JAY LENO

"A firm owned by Dubai's government has purchased the rights to operate seaports in six major American cities, a move the White House approved without telling Congress. Even worse, everyone found out about the sale from that Texas quail-hunt rancher lady." --JON STEWART

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