Punchlines: Nov. 28, 2005

"The Country Music Awards were held right here in New York City for the first time ever. Isn't that nice? In a related story, this year's Soul Train Awards are being held in Salt Lake City." --CONAN O'BRIEN

"Sad news for Martha Stewart today as NBC canceled her version of The Apprentice ... The network released a statement today saying 'Don't let the French doors painted Dutch blue with cobalt trim hit you on the a__ on the way out.'" --JIMMY KIMMEL

For more political humor, visit time.com/cartoons

...

Want the full story?

Subscribe Now

Subscribe
Subscribe

Get TIME the way you want it

  • One Week Digital Pass — $4.99
  • Monthly Pay-As-You-Go DIGITAL ACCESS$2.99
  • One Year ALL ACCESSJust $30!   Best Deal!
    Print Magazine + Digital Edition + Subscriber-only Content on TIME.com

Learn more about the benefits of being a TIME subscriber

If you are already a subscriber sign up — registration is free!