Punchlines: Nov. 14, 2005

"If Alito is confirmed, there will be two Supreme Court Justices from New Jersey. Experts say this could cause a reversal in the famous case Mullet v. Back Hair." --CONAN O'BRIEN

"Now the Democrats feel they're only three or four more empty gestures away from a complete moral victory." --ED HELMS, Daily Show correspondent, on Democrats forcing the Senate into closed session to discuss Iraqi prewar intelligence

"A new poll shows 66% of Americans think President Bush is doing a poor job handling the war in Iraq. The remaining 34% think Adam and Eve rode dinosaurs to church." --TINA FEY, co-anchor...

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