Punchlines: Oct. 17, 2005

"Two indictments in two weeks for Tom DeLay--now that's the kind of thing that could give Congress a bad name."

--DAVID LETTERMAN

"Scientists warn the melting of the [polar] ice cap will make sea levels rise, threaten coastal areas, destroy the habitats of polar animals and, even worse, completely devastate the product launch of new 'Arctic Ice' Gatorade."

--JON STEWART

"Interesting woman, Harriet Miers. She was a Democrat, found God and then became a Republican. Which is kinda backwards. Usually in Washington, you become a Republican, get indicted, go to jail and then find God."

--JAY...

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