Q: What kind of chocolate do you use to spread on your naked body?
A: I knew that was going to be the first question. Right now my preference is Betty Crocker dark double chocolate.
Q: That sounds more like a frosting than a chocolate.
A: If you want to get technical, yes, it is a frosting.
Q: Do you temper it?
A: What's tempering? You mean melt it?
Q: When you melt chocolate, you have to do it in stages or it congeals. You don't know much about chocolate.
A: I like that layering and congealing. I like that sensation of whatever tempering does. Remember, I am indecent.
Q: That's what the Supreme Court said. Does that hurt?
A: I'm going to enjoy my status as loser.
Q: I've never seen you perform. What exactly do you do?
A: Basically just run around the stage making political-emotional commentary.
Q: How do you get the chocolate off after the show?
A: It's a double shower with a loofah, and the loofah doesn't even get it all off.
Q: Ever try Magic Shell?
A: What's Magic Shell?
Q: It's that chocolate topping that hardens on ice cream.
A: If you want to do it, I'll try it.
Q: I feel special.
A: In my show, if you give me $20, you can lick the chocolate off.
Q: I don't feel so special anymore.