You've heard the New Testament story about Jesus calming the storm, right? The one from the Gospel of Matthew, in which the Apostles wake Jesus from a nap while waves almost ravage their boat. According to one version, it goes, "Jesus awoke and asked them, 'Are y'all doubters out there pouting for real/ What's the deal?/ Where's all that faith you always talking about when I'm not around?/ How you gone' doubt right now?/ Check this out/ ... I'm talking to the waters and clouds/ Rain and wind, y'all both calm down."
Yes, that's not your Father's version of the Bible....
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