Punchlines: Aug. 1, 2005

"Hot today--isn't it hot? It is so hot today that Deputy Chief of Staff Karl Rove leaked the names Ben and Jerry."

--DAVID LETTERMAN

"President Bush announced that he has nominated Judge John Roberts to the court. When asked why, Bush said he picked Roberts because he has one of the finest legal minds since Matlock."

--CONAN O'BRIEN

"BUSH AWAITS ORDERS FROM ROVE ON HANDLING OF ROVE SCANDAL"

--Fake news headline from

THE ONION

"President Bush said the job of the Supreme Court is extremely important, because as you know these are the people who...

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