Punchlines: Jun. 6, 2005

"You know what's amazing about being in the same room with Michael Jackson? In person, he looks almost lifelike." —JAY LENO

"To show his energy bill is about more than drilling for oil in Alaska, President Bush visited a plant in Virginia that turns soybeans into a clean-burning diesel fuel—which the President hopes will one day be used to power oil-drilling machines in Alaska." —TINA FEY, on Saturday Night Live

"Star Wars took in $158 million in just four days. Yeah, that's more than some gas stations." —DAVID LETTERMAN


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