How Can a Parent Help?

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    *MAKE SURE THAT CHILDHOOD IS NOT AN IMPOSSIBLE ACT TO FOLLOW. Don't overindulge kids with spectacular vacations, opulent material possessions and relentless tides of programmed activities after school and during the summers. Avoid creating hyperinflated egos living within protected spheres that will burst in the early stages of a career when supervisors won't care how gorgeous your kids are or what "cool dudes" they've become or what great ballplayers they were in high school.

    What about the son or daughter who is grown but seems to be floundering and wandering aimlessly through early adulthood? Parents still have a pivotal role to play, but now it is more delicate. It is essential for strong family ties and trust to prevail throughout this trying period. Parents have to be careful not to come across as disappointed in their child. They should exhibit strong interest and respect for whatever currently interests their fledgling adult (as naive or ill conceived as it may seem) while becoming a partner in exploring options for the future. Any career advice should be offered respectfully, and parents should never make it seem as if the young adult's quandaries have easy answers. They should certainly offer room and board and occasional gifts or grants but not bankroll their start-up adult entirely. Most of all, these new adults must feel that they are respected and supported by a family that appreciates them. ???

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