My Session with Dr. Phil

Coming to terms with my emotional immaturity, I decided to lie on his couch

I've never had what other people call depth. I've never kept a journal, or pondered the meaning of life or even been depressed. Once, when my college girlfriend dumped me, I was really sad, but even then I was more excited about the life experience of feeling depressed than actually depressed, which kind of ruined the whole thing. When people talk about finding out who they are, I just look at them blankly, since that's not something I ever think about. I know who I am: I'm a guy who enjoys food, television and sex. The only reason I ever wanted...

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