Families: Who Gets Bob?

How to stay friends with both ex-spouses after a split

Anita Cali sat with her old college friend Gloria, talking about Gloria's ex-husband Peter. Suddenly tears sprang to Anita's eyes. "I miss Peter," she said of her friend's husband. Gloria rolled her eyes in exasperation: "You're just like the kids!" she said. Gloria and Peter (who don't want their real names used) were married for 17years. Their divorce, while not exemplary, was not particularly malicious. After 18 months they had worked out custody of their three children and portioned out the assets.

Nevertheless, their friends felt compelled to choose between them. Gloria, who had instigated the divorce because she realized...

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