1. The International Chess Federation began drug testing because:
a) E-popping Kasparov keeps hugging the pawns b) of Big Blue's silicone habit c) it wants chess in the Olympics d) nobody, but nobody, can beat Cheech
2. George W. Bush is:
a) looking for help sounding out "E-I-E-I-O" b) trying to win voters for George P. c) having the hardest workday of his term d) reading from The Hungry Caterpillar
3. NBC hired MTV's Carson Daly to:
a) date Jack Welch's great-great-granddaughter b) tempt both Will and Grace c) play host on the show Later d) make network exec Scott Sassa...