Millions Of Women Weep

I had two major reasons for never wanting to get married. The first was that you can't have sex with other people. The second was that marriage is really just a legal method for the patriarchy to possess and subjugate women. You would not believe how long it took me to come up with the second reason.

I didn't want to get married because, basically, I don't like thinking any further into the future than what I'm going to eat and how I'm going to get sex. Anything else is a hassle. Also, as an optimist, I like the thought of...

Want the full story?

Subscribe Now

Subscribe
Subscribe

Get TIME the way you want it

  • One Week Digital Pass — $4.99
  • Monthly Pay-As-You-Go DIGITAL ACCESS$2.99
  • One Year ALL ACCESSJust $30!   Best Deal!
    Print Magazine + Digital Edition + Subscriber-only Content on TIME.com

Learn more about the benefits of being a TIME subscriber

If you are already a subscriber sign up — registration is free!