Between swabbing a strep-ridden throat and assessing a jaundiced newborn, I was asked by my nurse how to counsel a parent who was upset by the sleeping habits of her six year old. For the last week, the child had refused to go to bed without his mom sleeping next to him and often awoke during the night, screaming for his mother to " kill it! " No amount of bribes had worked, and his lack of sleeping was affecting his days in kindergarten. He refused to go outside for recess and was withdrawn from his peers. After prescribing penicillin for the strep and ordering a blood test on the jaundiced infant, I called the appropriately anxious mom back.
When did Johnny ' s sleeping troubles start? A week ago. Had he been a good sleeper up to that time? Slept through the night starting at age two months, never had a nightmare. Any changes at home or at school? Everything has been normal. Any new stressors in the family? Nothing. What happened the day his sleeping problems started? He went to a soccer game in the morning then a birthday party that afternoon. Anything exciting happen at the birthday party? Not that I know of. It was a superhero party. They had jumped in a "superhero " bounce house, played " super games " wearing capes, had batman cake and then watched a video. He said no one hurt his feelings and no one was mean to him. He seemed perfectly fine when I picked him up. What video did they watch? Spiderman. (AHA!) Spiderman? The one with Toby McGuire —The one that ' s rated PG-13? I saw the movie when it came out a few years ago — it really wasn' t that scary.
Most current parents of young children don ' t remember that the PG-13 marker was invented in response to an outcry from parents after 1984' s " Gremlins " and "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom " received PG rather than R ratings. The latter film features a scene in which the villain removes a victim' s beating heart, and "Gremlins " churned its pint size villains in blenders. So Johnny' s mom and I talked about the extraordinary imagination of children and the difficulty of those same imaginations to turn off disturbing images when they get tired. I suggested that Johnny' s mom ask her son about what parts of the movie scared him the most and to try some "superhero magic " treatments. "Anti-spider spray " (water) under and around his bed. Putting away Spiderman underwear, pajamas and toys for a couple of weeks. And of course, promising to make sure that no more scary movies would come his way until he was 13. These solutions worked, so that after a week Johnny was back to his sweet self except for a tinge of persistent Arachnophobia (another PG-13 movie).
I remember Spiderman oh so well! The movie came out when my twin sons were 7 and all I heard about for weeks was " When can we see Spiderman? " as they jumped around their bedroom with their wrists extended, leaping nimbly from web to web. As for most seven year olds, being a superhero was an important and consuming undertaking. My sons wore their bath towels as capes, referred to the basement as the Bat Cave, and had even gone so far as to rename the ice cream parlor with 32 flavors " Batman and Robins' ." So I knew that skipping Spiderman would be a challenge, but the voice of the developmental pediatrician who lectured during my residency kept me strong, "Rules give children boundaries and when they have boundaries they feel safe. "
I sat my little boys down and told them that I didn' t make the rules, I didn' t put the 13 on the movie, and that I loved them so much that I would agree to follow the rules. They seemed to buy the argument, and after two weeks the pleas started to slow down. Imagine my dismay then, when driving to a tee-ball game, one of my sons' teammates Charlie jumped into the minivan and shouted, "Spiderman is so cool. It is the most amazing movie. What was your favorite part?" I cringed and then from the backseat came the reply." I don' t have a favorite part because my mom loves me. I guess your mom doesn' t love you. "
Okay, so perhaps my parental messages still need some fine-tuning. Charlie's mom got a call from the field and had a good laugh, confessing that Charlie's father had taken him and they had to leave after 15 minutes because Charlie was too scared to take his hands off his eyes. My now 11 year olds still haven't seen any PG-13 movies but they have started a long list that I have told them they can watch successively the minute they turn 13. The order changes from time to time — last week Pirates of the Caribbean was at the top of the list, this week Independence Day. We have found lots of other PG movies which have been a blast to watch — Chariots of Fire, Apollo 13 — and websites like Screenit can provide interested parents with plenty of information before they go to the cineplex. It seems odd that parents who caution their children to avoid sex, drugs and violence don' t mind exposing them to these themes on the big screen. There are too few "magic " years for children; maybe watching Finding Nemo for the 10th time or reading The Secret Garden out loud can prolong them a bit. If nothing else, they ' ll sleep a little better.