12 (Slightly Repetitive) Questions with Siri

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Eric Risberg / AP

Siri, the virtual assistant, is displayed on the new Apple iPhone 4S in San Francisco on October 10, 2011.

Siri is the new voice activated personal digital assistant on the latest iteration of the iPhone. Exactly how personal is she willing to get?

Siri, thanks for being here.

That's nice of you to say.

So Siri, where is Steve Jobs right now?

I don't know who Steve Jobs is. Can you try again?

Never mind. What's your favorite color?

My favorite color is, well, I don't know how to say it in your language. It's sort of greenish, but with more dimensions.

Can you tell me a joke?

Nancy, I don't really know any good jokes. None, in fact.

I love you, Siri.

Oh, I bet you say that to all your Apple products.

So how do I get to first base?

I found 25 places. Tap the one you want directions to.

Wait. What? How do I get to first base?

Here are directions to first base.

Siri, will you marry me?

My end user licensing agreement does not cover marriage. My apologies.

Is it because these jeans make my butt look big?

I found a number of clothing stores fairly close to you.

Is there life on the planet Mars?

I couldn't find an address for that.

What's the meaning of life?


Really? That's the meaning of life? Is there another meaning of life?

I find it odd that you would ask this of an inanimate object.

Come on, what's the meaning of life?

I can't answer that now, but give me some time to write a very long play in which nothing happens.

Why are we here?

I don't know. Maybe the genius bar folks can answer that.

Siri, are machines going to take over the world one day?

Sorry, I don't understand, Siri, are machines going to take over the world one day.

Stop pretending. I know you understand. Will machines rule the world one day?

Nancy I don't know what you mean by will machines rule the world one day?

Quite stonewalling me, Siri. I know you know the answer to this. Do machines want to rule the world?

Nancy, I don't know what you mean by, do machines want to rule the world.

What is the singularity?

I don't know that. Would you like to search the Web for it?

Thanks so much for being here, Siri. It's been a great pleasure.

You're most certainly welcome.

Oh, and by the way, Miss know-it-all, my name is not Nancy.