But oh how wrong you would be, careful reader, if you thought that. Like eager rookies from small, underappreciated colleges, we're ready to Step it Up and Show That We Belong Here. The picks:
| Favorite |
Line
|
Dog
|
| TITANS |
5
|
Giants
|
| BILLS |
1
1/2
|
Colts
|
| PANTHERS |
6
|
Cowboys
|
| Ravens |
8
1/2
|
BROWNS
|
| LIONS |
1
|
Vikings
|
| JAGUARS |
OFF
|
Steelers
|
| RAMS |
17
|
Chargers
|
| Dolphins |
7
|
BENGALS
|
| BRONCOS |
8
1/2
|
Patriots
|
| REDSKINS |
1
1/2
|
Bucs
|
| 49ERS |
7
|
Cardinals
|
| PACKERS |
5
1/2
|
Bears
|
| EAGLES |
3
|
Falcons
|
| CHIEFS |
4
|
Seahawks
|
L.I. Slim is still finding his footing after a long vacation from the game. His command of the season's trends and turns may be weak, but that old intuition — the "little man" inside — is starting to come back. Herewith, an unscientific reckoning. Don't underestimate the voodoo.
TITANS (-5) over Giants, because the G-men just aren't a 4-1 team.
Colts (+1.5) over BILLS, because they won big for me last week.
Cowboys (+6) over PANTHERS, because I feel sorry for them.
BROWNS (+8.5) over Ravens, because they're 2-2!
Vikings (+1) over LIONS, because Minnesota's going to win.
Steelers (no line) over JAGUARS, because the boys in black are due.
RAMS (-17) over Chargers, because 17 just ain't enough.
BENGALS (+7) over Dolphins, because the Bengals have only scored 7 all year.
Patriots (+8.5) over BRONCOS, because the Pats aren't an 0-5 team.
Bucs (+1.5) over REDSKINS, because in a close one, the Bucs are GETTING points?
Cardinals (+7) over 49ers, because Jeff Garcia is suspended for the week.
PACKERS (-5.5) over Bears, because it's just too easy to beat the Bears.
EAGLES (-3) over Falcons, because Philly's 2-2 and running the ball at last.
Seahawks (+4) over CHIEFS, because KC just beat Denver, and they shouldn't have.
The K.C. Line
Having been hurt too many times before, the K.C. Line jumped off the Chief's bandwagon last week. The K.C. Line regrets this. He has since replanted his ass firmly back on said wagon, and it's staying right there until Elvis Grbac comes back down to Earth. Which may be soon, but won't be this week, as the Chiefs make the Seahawks look bad in Arrowhead on Monday night.
Normally, you'd rush to get go against any team that was giving 17 points in the National Football League. A lot of teams can't even score 17 points in the National Football League. But those Rams, they aren't normal. They are in fact supernormal. And so, even after starting in a 17-0 hole, these Rams should be able to pass the Chargers sometime early in the second quarter, throw a few more touchdowns on the board in the third, and take the fourth off and let the Webster Groves High team finish the game.
The Picks:
TITANS
Colts
PANTHERS
BROWNS
LIONS
JAGUARS
RAMS
Dolphins
Patriots
Bucs
49ERS
PACKERS
EAGLES
CHIEFS