Kanye West doesn't like his new rug. The rapper appears to be redecorating his house buying gold-encrusted goblets, coveting 19th century artwork and turning his home "real Kingish," as he puts it. But the rugs are all wrong. "I specifically ordered Persian rugs with cherub imagery!!!" He wrote on Twitter on Wednesday. "What do I have to do to get a simple Persian rug with cherub imagery uuuuugh."
Oh, Kanye. We've missed you.
Hip-hop's most ridiculous rapper has been relatively quiet in recent months ever since that 2009 MTV Video Music Awards outburst about Beyoncé's "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)" video being better than Taylor Swift's (which, by the way, it was), after which someone on his p.r. team apparently told him to shut it until the backlash died down. Well, time's up. West has a new album out in September formerly called Good Ass Job, it's currently without a name and the promotional firestorm is kicking into gear. West performed at the BET Awards in June and has appeared at the khaki-clad offices of Facebook and Twitter. Then, on July 28, he opened a Twitter account. And here's what we discovered: West is funny.
His blog, Kanye Universe City, has made us laugh for years, but it's sometimes hard to tell whether we are laughing with West or at him. The all-caps rants like the January 2009 post that began with the title, "YOOOO WHY WON'T YOU LET ME BE GREAT!!!," and ended with the request that we all "LOOK HOW FRESH MY SUIT IS" seemed to be accidentally hilarious. And when fans complained that he showed up two hours late for a 2008 Bonnaroo performance, West didn't apologize. Instead, he blogged an obscenity-laced rant and called everyone at Bonnaroo "squid brains." Basically, West has seemed like a diva. But on Twitter, he's different. He's more sarcastic, even tongue in cheek. Maybe we've had West all wrong.
According to Twitter, here are some things Kanye West has done in the past two days:
Flown on a private jet
Complained that the private jet he flew on was too small
Called himself king and then posted a photo of one of Napoleon's thrones
Drank wine out of a gold goblet
Bemoaned the lack of cherubs
Listened to the "William Tell Overture" ("Classical music is tight, yo")
Listened to Leonard Bernstein. ("[His] flute player is snapping write now!!! Are those Christmas bells?")
Put fresh flowers in his house
Explained what it was like to date a model: "I had to learn to like small dogs and cigarettes"
Asked for decorating advice: "Is the Versace sofa too hood? Might need to cover it in plastic!!!"
Ordered his salmon cooked medium instead of medium well ("I didn't want to ruin the magic")
Posted photos of Louis XIV's credenza
Asked someone to give him this horse
Close to 300,000 people are now following West's Twitter account and looking at his pictures of furniture. The number of people West is following? Zero.