Sheryl Weinstein's book Madoff's Other Secret: Love, Money, Bernie, and Me
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Did you get a sense that he was duplicitous, beyond the fact that he was conducting an extramarital affair?
No, there was no reason for me to believe that. You have to understand, I had all my money with him. He had a huge reputation; he was chairman of Nasdaq and had a very successful brokerage firm. This wasn't a back-alley type of guy.
Speaking of keeping your money and your organization's money with him, were you worried that revealing your personal entanglement would subject you to a lawsuit or otherwise jeopardize your professional integrity?
No. Hadassah had a private advisory board, and it was a group of four or five men who were top professionals in their field. They always reviewed the investments. I sat on the board without a vote, and there was never a time when I had the overall say on any type of investment decision without them. In addition, Hadassah remained with Bernie 11 years after I left. How long am I supposed to be responsible?
Can you recall what your reaction was when you heard that the scandal had broken?
My head started filling with a white noise, as if it was going to explode. I could barely hear or be aware of anything else going on about me. It was as if somebody stuck their arm down my throat, grabbed my insides, turned them, and pulled them back out. It was a feeling of total and utter disbelief that everything you knew, you counted on, you planned and you worked 40 years for had just disappeared. It's one of the worst feelings I've ever felt.
Did you find writing the book cathartic?
There was a good deal of catharsis. I started feeling that by sharing it, I was getting stronger, not weaker.
People have suggested the fact that Ruth Madoff didn't know about this affair suggests she may not have known about the Ponzi scheme, since she was completely unaware of an element of her husband's life. Do you agree?
Well, our affair was a very small part of his life. If it took up a great amount of his life, she would have found out about it, because she was very much into the business. So I don't really see the analogy. I know her attorney may see the analogy, but I don't really see it.
So you think she was aware of what was going on?
I don't know, but I think she ignored a lot. I think sometimes people may suspect things and not look closer.
At the end of the book, you say that you're looking forward to getting back to your future. What does that entail? What are you looking forward to doing?
We sold our house of 20 years. I'm trying to recuperate some of the monies we have lost, and I'm trying to get a career going, to continue to make money because I have to work. I'm really trying to put this behind me as much as I can. It's been a very heavy load to carry.