Destroying the Internet

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I just pooped on AIG. Then I puked on Bernie Madoff, attacked Coldplay with a chainsaw and peed on the stock market. And I did it all with help from

Netdisaster allows you to release all of your pent up, passive aggressive anger on websites you despise. It's the technological equivalent of drawing devil horns on a poster, or throwing darts at your archenemy's photo. Have you been recently laid off? Go take a crap on your former employer! Ex-boyfriend send you a malicious email? Hit his blog with a nuclear weapon. It's really fun, especially when you find a good headshot of Bill O'Reilly and have access to a fake banana cream pie. Also:

• Why does Joaquin Phoenix continue to insist he has a rap career? Torpedos!

• Rod Blagojevich wouldn't have been so eager to sell that Senate seat if he were fighting off a swarm of wasps.

• Iran's nuclear program makes me uneasy. Let's protest it with flowers.

The Hills' Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag haven't done anything recently, but I'm pretty sure their relationship is a sham. For that, they shall be eaten by worms.

Now that I've used it a few times, I wonder if Netdisaster inspires feelings of ill-will when previously there were none. I kind of like Perez Hilton's website, but then I made an animated baby scribble all over his already scribbled on photos and suddenly I felt superior to the pink-haired celebrity gossip diva. Gwyneth Paltrow runs an online lifestyle website called Goop. I have no opinion of the site, but I enjoyed covering it in goop. And the recently arrested Kanye West? I loved 808 and Heartbreak, but I couldn't help but attack his site with aliens.

At least it's better than Bacolicious, which covers everything in bacon. That just made me want to eat my computer.

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