10 Awards They Missed

  • Share
  • Read Later
1. So Those Acting Lessons Finally Paid Off Award

Pierce Brosnan: O.K., so he didn't get nominated. But thanks to a Golden Globe nomination for The Matador, this ex-Bond man finally got a license to act.

Matt Dillon: 23 years later, he finally gets past the "Let's do it for Johnny" scene in The Outsiders, with a best supporting actor nod for Crash.

Keira Knightley: This Brit can't skate by being mistaken for Winona Ryder forever. Thank God she earned a best actress nomination for Pride & Prejudice before she turned 21.

Heath Ledger: From teen girl heartthrob to honorary gay icon, we vote this best actor nominee most improved.

Michelle Williams: This Dawson's Creek alumna has not only hooked up with a Hollywood hunk and become a new mom but found time to make serious movies —take that, Katie Holmes!

2. I Directed A Big Studio Picture and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt Award

Ron Howard: Cinderella Man(Universal, Miramax)

Peter Jackson: King Kong (Universal)

James Mangold: Walk the Line (FOX)

Rob Marshall: Memoirs of a Geisha (Sony)

Susan Stroman: The Producers (Sony)

3. Best Job Staying in Character Off Screen Award

Russell Crowe: Duck! This thespian threw punches as boxer James Braddock in Cinderella Man, then threw a phone at a hotel clerk in New York City last spring.

Scarlett Johannson: The movies' current reigning hottie, she seduced Jonathan Rhys-Meyers away from Emily Mortimer in Match Point, and would give straight male viewers a reason to tune in on Oscar night.

Joaquin Phoenix: Should method acting require a 12-step program? This best actor nominee hit rehab after playing Johnny Cash in Walk The Line.

Rachel Weisz: The best supporting actress nominee must have really dug that fake belly she wore as a pregnant aid worker in The Constant Gardener, cause she and director Darren Aronofsky are now expecting a child; does Armani do maternity?

King Kong: He fell off the Empire State building — and the Academy's radar screen—earning only technical nominations.

4. Most Supportive Spouse Award

Bill Macy: Being married to a Desperate Housewife is emasculating enough. Try it when she plays a man, as Macy's honey, best actress nominee Felicity Huffman does in Transamerica.

Ryan Phillipe: Mr. Reese Witherspoon endured his wife learning to sing for Walk the Line. That deserves a hee haw.

Jesse James: Mr. Tattoos and leather, the custom motorcycle builder, will have to scrub up to escort wife, Crash's Sandra Bullock, who will be a presenter.

Fran Walsh: Imagine having to put up with King Kong director Peter Jackson when he's filming his multi-year epics, much less when he's sulking without a nomination.

Michelle Williams: Yes, she's nominated, too, for best supporting actress in Brokeback Mountain. But really, when her sweetie Heath Ledger said he wanted six kids, wasn't that a prize of its own?

5. Cast Most Likely To Get Rowdy at the Awards Award

Cinderella Man: Nobody disses Opie (overlooked director Ron Howard), especially when that pugilist Russell Crowe is in his movie.

Hustle & Flow: Imagine a cast sing-a-long to nominated tune "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp". Think Dame Judi Dench will join in?

Murderball: The quadriplegic rugby players in this nominated documentary make Hollywood action stars look like girlie men. Arnold, beware.

Walk the Line: Joaquin Phoenix fit in great when he gave a show at Folsom Prison. 'Nuff said.

March of the Penguins: They came all the way from Antarctica for this and they want their stinkin' gift bags!

6. Ubiquity Award

George Clooney: The former Sexiest Man got serious, earning nominations in multiple categories for Syriana and Good Night & Good Luck.

Jake Gyllenhaal: Showed he's the real deal in Jarhead, Proof and Brokeback Mountain. Hollywood can't quit you, Jake.

Terrence Howard: As a director who lets his wife down in Crash and a pimp who raises his prostitutes up in Hustle & Flow, this best actor nominee showed range and red carpet stamina.

Catherine Keener: Deflowered a 40-Year-Old Virgin, safeguarded The Interpreter, disrupted The Ballad of Jack and Rose and earned a nod for playing prim Harper Lee in Capote.

Ludacris: Also appeared in Crash and Hustle & Flow, while keeping his day job as a rapper. It can be done well, 50 Cent.

7. Thank God Someone Has That Old-Fashioned Hollywood Charisma Award

George Clooney

George Clooney

George Clooney

George Clooney

George Clooney

8. Toughest Job on Oscar Night Award:

Jennifer Aniston's publicist: Has Jen seen Brangelina's sonogram? Will she attend the shower? Red carpet chatterboxes have many rude questions for this presenter.

Isaac Mizrahi: The grabby E! co-host must keep his hands in his pockets, and off of starlets

Dolly Parton's stylist: O.K., we're not sure she has one, but heck, fitting a gown on this buxom Best Song nominee for Transamerica's Travelin'Thru would be a real achievement.

Host Jon Stewart: Really, will there be any original gay cowboy jokes left by March 5?

Reese Witherspoon: Acting surprised when she wins best actress for Walk the Line will surely require Witherspoon to channel more of that June Carter-style class.

9. Been-There/Done-That Award:

Woody Allen: This is his 21st nomination, for his Match Point script; Allen won two for 1977's Annie Hall and one for 1986's Hannah and Her Sisters

Judi Dench: She earned her 5th nod this year for Mrs. Henderson Presents, and won for 1998's Shakespeare in Love.

William Hurt: Snagged his 4th for History of Violence, won for 1985's Kiss of The Spiderwoman

Frances McDormand: Got her 4th for North Country, won for 1996's Fargo.

Steven Spielberg: This is his 11th, for director of Munich; he won two for 1993's Schindler's List and one for 1998's Saving Private Ryan.

10. Most Talented Nominee You've Never Heard Of Award

Amy Adams: Without even suffering through he over-exposed starlet phase, this Best Supporting Actress nominee shines in Junebug.

Colleen Atwood: This six-time nominee, who already won for her costumes in 2002's Chicago, made covering up in a kimono look super-sexy in Memoirs of a Geisha

Hayao Miyazaki: Considered the best in the animation biz, this Japanese filmmaker won for 2002's Spirited Away, and his Disney import Howl's Moving Castle, is up for Best Animated Feature. Yes, another reason to outsource.

David Strathairn: Finally people will know how to pronounce this actor's actor's name, after a nomination for his Good Night & Good Luck performance.

Focus Features: With 16 nods for its films Brokeback Mountain, Constant Gardener and Pride & Prejudice, this indie arm of Universal Pictures proves size doesn't matter.